The Power of Seven: The Renegades

[preachr7]

**DISCLAIMER: this is completely fiction and meant to entertain and cause you to laugh. No disrespect or offense intended at any point. Thank you.--Chris Randomnoise, Exhalted High Command and all-around know-it-all of the Renegades**

(narration done by the same voice for the narrator of the Rocky and Bullwinkle show...wait a minute, oh we couldn't get him so we had to settle for the guy from Powerpuff Girls)
Narrator: We begin this peaceful morning in the San Francisco area with a beautiful sunrise. As we know San Fran is home to the Brotherhood, a band of evil misfits who have nothing better to do with their time than to cause mayhem and chaos. Our main focus will be on Cole, also known as Belle the Tzar, a gay demon who has a severe shoe fetish. Next are the Charmed Ones: Prue, Piper, and Pheobe.
(cut to Rich Contrablast)
Rich: Did you say Pooh
Narrator: No Rich, I said Prue.
Rich: Oh.
(cut back to city view)
Narrator: These three sister have the Power of 3 which gives them supernatural powers. Prue is the oldest with the power to move things with her mind. She's also a photgrapher and tends to throw a tantrum if she doesn't get her way. Then there's Piper, the middle sister. She has the power to freeze or blow up any object, both living and non-living, depending on her mood...(cut to the 3)
Prue: Piper! You were supposed to freeze that.
Piper: Darn this PMS!!!
(cut back to city)Narrator:...and loves to cook. And finally there's Phoebe, the youngest sister who has the ability to see the future and levatate. Phoebe also has a severe shoe fetish. (cut to Phoebe)
Phoebe: Ooooo, there a sale on shoes!!!
Piper: Phoebe! You have 364 pairs!!!
Phoebe: Yeah! One more and I'll have enough for a year!!! *giggles*
(cut to the bay)
Narrator: Finally we have our heros, the Renegades (cue crowd saying ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo).

...to be continued

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...continued

Narrator: Yes, the Renegades are an elite force of selected humans to serve the Almighty in the battles against evil. Their main target is the Source of the Brotherhood known by the Renegades as Crunchy Frog. Let's meet our heros. (cut to first heros) This is Lisa Guardchic, codename LisaLisaMoMeesa. With Lisa is her sister Alisha Guardchic, codename Reneguardchk. Together, these two are not to be reckoned with. With thier cat-like reflexes and speed, they can spin any pole, rifle, or sabre with unimaginable speed to serve as a shield against evil. In addition, they can toss these very objects towards their enemies, vaporizing them. (cut to Lee) Next we have Lee Drumsalot, codename Drumlaw. By day, Lee is a mild-mannered lawer for musicians in the San Fran area. But by night, he serves the Almighty with writing drum beats that can knock the beegeezers out of any enemy he faces. With his blessed drum, Lee can generate powerful shockwaves that can start earthquakes...no wonder California has earthquakes. (cut to Rich) Here we have the Furious Four. First there's Rich Contrablast, code name ContraRich. Rich is the foundation of this fearsome line whose tones have been heard as far away as Austrailia. Rich also serves as San Francisco's backup foghorn. Second is Tom Blastingbari, codename Da Preacher. Tom also serves as a backup foghorn if Rich is not available. Plus, it is known that Tom is the most powerful of the seven due to his great knowledge and understanding the Almighty and His Word. Third is Chris Randomnoise, codename Blat Weasal. Chris is also the leader of the Renegades and can blow down a tall building with a single blat. Finally we have Jon Soprano, codename BatmanRenegade. Jons' high tones with his mighty instrument can mute the screems of a banshee anyday. Together, these elite seven have the supernatural powers of telekinesis, teleportation, and telepathy. Plus, with their blessed and mighty instruments, the Furious Four can produce sounds of such sonic magnitude that can knock down the tallest of skyscrapers and the thickest of walls, vaporize any enemy, and also produce beautiful music. They are the Power of Seven, they are the Renegades. (cue cool music)
<---look!..seven

...to be continued

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Narrator: We begin our story with the three sisters Prue, Piper, and Phoebe.

Piper: "Who wants breakfast?"
Prue: "I just want a bagel and coffee hun."
Piper: "Do you want any spread with your bagel Prue?"
Prue: "Oh, just a little cream cheese."
Piper: "Comming right up hun."
(enter Phoebe)
Phoebe: "I just want some scrambled eggs and toast Piper, I have to get to class."
Piper: "What? No tootie-frutie pancakes?"
Phoebe: "Ha ha, you aint kiddin' about them being tootie. The batch you made yesterday gave me gas. Let's just say I had no trouble keeping guys from hitting on me." (cue laugh track)
(enters in Leo)
All 3 "Leo!"
Piper: "What's up honey."
Leo: "The word going around up there is that the Brotherhood are planning something evil again. No one knows any specifics."
Prue: "Well a lot of good that does us."
Leo: "Phoebe, do you think you can find out anything from Cole?"
Phoebe: "I doubt it, but I can ask."
Narrator: Although Phoebe and her sisters know that Cole is a demon, they have no idea of is other "little" secret. Now what could those mystical misfits, the Brotherhood, be up to now?
(cut to shopping mall with Chris and Lee)
Chris: "I don't know Lee, putting in those rim shots at that volume may start another earthquake. You KNOW what happens if you do that."
Lee: "Yeah, but you know me *laughs*, I can't help myself sometimes."
Chris: "Hold on Lee, I'm getting a message from the Almighty."
Narrator: Because of the Renegades' telepathic abilities, the Almighty can send messages to His chosen Seven in the most efficient manner...oh He's good!
Lee: "What is it my friend?"
Chris: "Let's go!" move to an obscure spot and teleport to Renegades HQ
Lee: "I'm with ya boss." follow Chris and teleport to Renegades HQ
Narrator: As the fearless Renegades leader teleports to their HQ, Chris calls the rest of the team by simply thinking of the number 7. Rich, Tom, Jon, Lisa and Alisha hear the call and respond immediately. The members teleport themselves to their designated HQ, P3! Unknown to the Seven is that this happenin' night club is owned and run by none other than Piper, one of the Three. Unknown to Piper is the use of her establishment as an HQ for the Renegades. Will the two teams ever meet? Find out later.
(fade out)
...to be continued

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(fade slowly in to P3)
Narrator: We last left our heros teleporting to their designated HQ. Meanwhile, back with the sisters...
(cut to the sisters at their home)
Phoebe: "Okay, I'm off to class now. I may stop at the mall on the way home, I hear there's a sale and I'm thinking"
(Piper cuts in)
Piper: "Hey hey hey, you don't need any more shoes there little miss! You have 364 pairs!!!"
Phoebe: "I know, I know...but if I get just one more then I'll have enough shoes for everyday of the year! *smiles big*"
(cue laugh track)
Prue: "Hey Phoebe, don't forget if you see Cole ask him if he knows anything about you know what."
Phoebe: "I will" then exits
(cut to Piper)
Piper: "Prue, will you help me out? I have some boxes of supplies I need to take to the club."
Prue: "Sure thing hon'"
(Prue and Piper walk out carrying boxes)
(fade to P3)
Jon: "So boss, why are we meetin' here now?"
Chris: "This is where He wanted us to start meeting now. I'm sure all will be revealed as time passes."
Rich: to himself, "Heh, the way he eats the only thing that'll be passing around here is gas." (cue laugh track)
Chris: clears throat *ahem* "I heard that!" (cue laugh track)
Tom: "So what's the news Chris?"
Chris: "It appears our old nemesis Crunchy Frog is up to his old pranks again. His plan is to have the Brotherhood open up pizza places all over San Fran called Pizza Orgasmica. The trick is that they plan to use some magical ingredient to turn normal humans into these mindless drones which Crunchy could then control and thus try to take over the world."
Lee: "Oh Chris, that's soo cliche."
Narrator: Just as things were starting with the Renegades meeting, the sisters Prue and Piper arrive. Oh oh, better hide Renegades.
Piper: "Well I got these keys here somewhere in this purse."
All Renegades: hears door being unlocked and immediately looks at the door.
Chris: "Tom, make yourself invisible and find out who these people are. Everyone else, scatter."
Narrator: The Seven all teleport back to where they were before except for Tom. He stays behind and because of his full understanding of the Almighty and His Word, Tom makes himself invisable to observe the sisters about to walk in.
Piper: "What do ya think Prue? Should I keep the same format of music for the club or try something new?"
Prue: "Well it's your club dear. *smiles* I do think exploring new things is a good idea."
Narrator: As the sisters are walking out to get more boxes, one box begins to fall off the counter. Prue sees this and uses her powers to catch the box and save the contents before it hits the ground. Upon seeing this, Da Preacher is all the more curious. Plus, he is starting to fancy the lovely Prue. Tom continues to follow the sisters and follows them back to their home. Later that evening...
(cut to the sisters, Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: "Hey girls, I'm home."
Piper: "Soooo, find anything on sale hmmm"
Phoebe: "Yeah, but nothing I didn't already have. *pouts*
Prue: checking through Book of Shadows, "Did you see Cole today?"
Phoebe: "Yes I did! Oddly enough, it was at the mall in one of the shoe stores. I've never caught him there before. Anyway, he did mention something about a pizza place, I thought he was just goofing off. Is there someone else here? I...I think I sense someone."
Narrator: Just then, Tom realizes who these sisters are...the Charmed Ones, witches with the power of 3. He's not too concerned since the 3 is no match for the 7. But, just to be safe he teleports up a floor. Just when he rematerializes and becomes visable again, Prue is walking up the stairs to put the book back in the attic. Is Tom about to be discovered? Find out later...

...to be continued

[Kristin Marie]

Great, Tom! This is great....please continue....I love the orginal Charmed Ones and I notice you do too, cause Paige isn't in it.

[preachr7]

Narrator: We last left our hero Tom, Da Preacher, in the attic of the Charmed Ones' home whose about to be discovered if he doesn't act quickly. Well he act in time, or will his infatuation for the beautiful Prue blow his concentration?
Tom: Hears door to attic unlocking, then sees the door handle slowly turn. Quickly moves to dark corner to hide. (black clothing makes it easy to hide)
Prue: Walks in and places book on podium. Looks puzzled, "Phoebe, will you come up here a moment?"
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: "What is it?"
Prue: "When you felt that presence downstairs, was it negative?"
Phoebe: "Actually, no it was a positive engery...innocent even."
(enter Piper)
Narrator: Tom concentrates hard not to give away his presence to the Three. However, his feelings for Prue are getting stronger by the moment.
Piper: "What's going on?"
Phoebe: "I don't feel anything now, *laughs* maybe Pipers' pancakes are still having an effect on me." (cue laugh track)
Piper: "Oh c'mon now, those were good."
Phoebe: "HEH, yeah, good and gassy." laughs along with Prue (cue laugh track)
Prue: "Well, I guess there's nothing left to do up here. Let's go back down."
Tom: thinks to himself, "Oh wow she's beautiful."
Narrator: Uh oh, Tom let his guard down. His thought was heard by the lovely Prue at which she simply turned her head, smiled, then left the room closing the door behind her. Does this mean our hero is discovered? As soon as the door was closed, Tom immediately teleported to the location of his leader Chris to report what he has discovered. In a flash of light, Tom left the sisters' home.
(cut to obscure location in city where the Seven are hanging out)
(Tom enters, shshshshshshiiing)
Chris: "Ah, Tom, what have you learned?"
Tom: "Well it just so happens that the owner of the club that we're using as HQ currently is named Piper and she's the sister of Prue and Phoebe. I've learned that these three are the Chamred Ones."
Chris: "The Charmed Ones? Hmmm, I wonder if we're supposed to help them. This explains why our new HQ is their night club. Lisa, you were saying?"
Lisa: "Oh yes, there is only one Pizza Orgasmica store open. The Brotherhood still have yet to perfect their little potion to put in the pizzas without being tasted by customers. Right now, it leaves an aftertaste which then prevents anyone from buying any."
Lee: "This gives us some more time."
Chris: "Great work team. And ya know, without the "magic" ingredient that pizza is pretty good. I had some for lunch today." (is then surprised by a fart) (cue laugh track)
Rich: "Woohoo, that must be some good sauce eh Chris?" (continue laugh track)
Tom: "Heh, yeah Chris, go easy next time. I'm gonna try and get to know the oldest of the sisters, Prue. I might be able to catch a conversation and see if they know anything about what the Brotherhood is up to. I did hear Phoebe talk about meeting with a Cole. If I remember, Cole is the human alias for our ol' buddy Belle the Tzar."
Jon: "Ah yes, good ol' tinkerBelle!" *laughs* (cue laugh track)
Chris: "Heh, okay Tom. Be careful."
(cut to P3)
Narrator: In yet another brilliant display of light, Tom teleports to just outside of P3. A quick change of clothes to a handsome pure white tuxedo and our hero enters the club. As he is walking down the stairs, he happens to see a long stem red rose which he then picks up to give to the lovely Prue. Oooh Tom, what a smoothie.
Tom: looks around first to blend in with the singles crowd, then locks eyes with Prue. Slowly walks over to her at the bar. "Hello."
Prue: smiles, "Hi, I haven't seen you here before. I'm Prue, and you are?"
Tom: "I'm Tom. I've been here before, just not when you were here."
Prue: "I'm here all the time...odd." still smiling
Piper: "So what can I get ya there handsome?"
Tom: "Oh, I'll just have a Cherry Coke."
Prue: "Here, it's on me. Oh, this is my sister Piper."
Tom: "Hello Piper. Say, what manner of name is Piper?"
Piper: "Uuh..." looks puzzled "...I have no idea."
Tom: smiles then takes a drink of the Cherry Coke
Narrator: Meanwhile just outside of P3, Phoebe is trying to comfort a young lady who just got dumped by her boyfriend.
Phoebe: "C'mon, it's okay. I overheard the guy talking, he's just a jerk."
Young Lady: crying "But I loved him so much."
Narrator: Just then, Phoebe hears a noise down the alley and feels some bad vibes coming from down there. Could there be trouble for the Three? Will the Seven assist if needed? Has Tom actually fallen in love with Prue? Is Crunchy Frog doomed to becoming a plate of froglegs? Find out later.
(fade out)

...to be continued

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Narrator: We last left our hero Tom being a real smoothie to Prue. Just outside the club, Phoebe is cautious of what may be down a dark alley.
Phoebe: "Umm, why don't we go inside."
Narrator: Just then, a banshee leaps out from behind a dumpster and begins to scream. Oh my ears! Prue and Piper hear the scream and run outside to see what they can do. Tom insists on following.
(cut to Prue and Tom)
Prue: "Uh, wait right here Tom."
Tom: "Let me come with you."
Prue: "Uuh, trust me, you want to stay inside."
(Prue and Piper exit the building with Tom following close behind)
Tom: "Prue, I insist!"
Piper: "What's going on?"
Phoebe: "THAT!" points to the banshee
Piper: "Oh dear, uuuh..." hand motions to freeze the banshee
Phoebe: "Uh Piper, I don't think that's working."
(banshee screams, the sisters hold their ears shut)
Narrator: OH MY! This is not good for the Three. But wait, Da Preacher instantly materializes his mighty axe and plays a tone from the baritone to cancel the effects of the banshee shriek. At the same time, he thinks of 7 to call his companions.
Tom: with a gentle voice, "Ladies, stand back."
Narrator: In a brilliant display of flashing lights and colors, the Seven all appear and ready to act. They all put on their sunglasses with a tinted 7 in the lenses...these guys mean business.
(banshee continues to scream, Lisa and Alisha spin their poles to create a shield around the Three to protect them.)
(The Furious Four have the instruments in hand along with Drumlaw and his drum.)
Chris: "tsk tsk tsk, won't these screaming chics ever learn?"
Rich: yawns (cue laugh track)
Chris: "Alright, enough of this. Lee, shake the ground a little."
Narrator: Lee plays a subtle rhythmn on his blessed drum which generates a shockwave that shakes the ground the banshees stands on and cause it to fall. Then immediately the the four with their blasting beauties play a chord with such intense volume that this sonic wall causes the banshee to simply burst.
SPLAT!...pitter pitter pitter drip drip drip
The Seven: "Eeewww..."
Jon: "What a mess."
Rich: "Yep, and you get to clean it up." (cue laugh track)
Jon: "Why me?"
Chris: "'cause you're the youngest." (cue laugh track)
Jon: "Aw man."
Narrator: Using his supernatural powers, the Batmanrenegade cleans the mess up in a snap.
(cut to the Three with Lisa and Alisha stopping their spinnin')
Tom: looks at Prue, smiles, "Prue, I'd like to meet the Renegades."
Prue: looking astonished, "Uh...Hi."
Tom: "We're an elite force of selected humans to serve the Almighty in the battles against evil. Right now, we're keeping watch on the Brotherhood." smiles "I think we'd both feel better about sharing over, say, dinner?" looking deep into Prues' eyes
Prue: smiling "Uuuhhhh, sure."
Piper: "Wai' wai' wait a minute. Where'd you get those powers anyway?"
Tom: "Piper, we're not warlocks if that's what you're asking. We're humans who have been given these powers by the Almighty, and ours is the Power of Seven."
Piper: "The Power of Seven?"
Lee: "Yes. The Seven refers to the seven attributes of the One we serve. They are love, joy, peace and patience, kindness and goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and finally self-control. Please take note, peace and patience overlap each other as to be one attribute. The same can be said for kindness and goodness."
Phoebe: "So you guys are like superheros...cool." (cue laugh track) "So if you guys all represent what's good and righteous, why are you called Renegades?"
Chris: "Since we are, well, odd ducks to begin with and we don't conform to the world, we are in a sense renegades. Since we are called by the Almighty to serve Him, we are no longer of this world...we are of Him."
Tom: smiles at Prue, holds her hand, "Do you like Italian Prue?"
Narrator: Oh boy Tom, you really have it for Prue. They all head back in to the club for some refreshments after that tiff with the banshee and Tom is now holding hands with Prue. Now that these two forces have met, look out Crunchy Frog...you're about to become froglegs. (cut to Rich)
Rich: "Mmmm, froglegs, taste like chicken." (cue laugh track)
(fade out)

...to be continued

[preachr7]

(fade in to Crunchy Frog deep underground)
Narrator: Uh oh, what could this mystical misfit be up to now?
Crunchy: "WHY IS MY SPECIAL INGREDIENT NOT YET READY!"
Belle: "Uuh, well, we keep having a problem with an aftertaste and so people arent ordering any pizzas with it included. We are making progress and as soon as we have the ingredient with no aftertaste, there shouldn't be any more problems."
Crunchy: "Gooooood, well done Belle The Tzar. Once the first Pizza Orgasmica is a success, then open up many more so that more of those pathetic humans can buy my pizzas and be under MY CONTROL, MWAAHAAHAAHAA!!!!!...ribbit"
(fade to Tom and Prue seated at a fine Italian restaurant)
Tom: smiles, "So, Prue, how long have you known of your "abilities"?"
Prue: also smiling and holding hands with Tom, "Oh, since about four years ago. Why do you ask?"
Tom: "I was just curious...plus I was wondering if you can tell me what you know about Cole?"
Prue: "Oh, well, Cole and Phoebe have been dating aaand...uh, Cole is a demon."
Tom: "Belle The Tzar, yeah, I know about him. Do you know about his, uuuh, other secret?"
Prue: "Other secret?"
Tom: "Yeah, well, Belle The Tzar or tinkerBelle as we like to call him has a severe shoe fetish and he's alsoooo, well, gay."
Prue: "Well this explains a lot! Phoebe also has a shoe fetish, after all she has 364 pairs!"
Narrator: My my Tom, you sure are puttin' the moves on Prue. Well, hopefully the handsome Renegade will be able to get the information he needs to give the good guys an edge against Crunchy Frog.
(fade to Tom walking Prue home)
Tom: still smiling and holding Prue's hand, "So has Cole told you anything about what the Brotherhood might be up to?"
Prue: "Nothing specific, just that we should go eat at Pizza Orgasmica."
Tom: "and for good reason. The Source of the Brotherhood, Crunchy Frog, has opened up that place with the intent on selling pizza with a magic ingredient so when people eat the pizza they'll become mindless drones and do whatever Crunchy wants."
Prue: "Oh my, we have to stop them!"
Tom: "We will Prue, we will." wrapping arms around Prue gently, "I had a wonderful evening Prue."
Prue: "So did I Tom. We really should do this again soon." looks into Tom's eyes, "Would you like to come in?"
Tom: "Just for a little."
Narrator: As the two lovebirds enter into her home, they engage in a passionate kiss that Tom certainly won't forget...hubba hubba hubba. I hope this relationship doesn't distract Da Preacher from defeating Crunchy Frog. Will Tom and Prue continue their romance? Will the Renegades and the Charmed Ones team up to fight Crunchy Frog? Will Chris be able to get in another pizza before the magic ingredient is perfected? Find out later.
(fade out)

...to be continued

[preachr7]

bump...more to come later.